You Need Love, and I'm Gonna Show You How
by call.me.alex
Summary: Series of entries/blogs/one-shots. Whatever you wish to call them. Basically, it's a timeline of random events that happen throughout Spashley's life. Not really in sequential order. A writing approach that I've never taken before. Peace. Alex.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, this is kinda different for me. This will be a series of one shots. But in my opinion, they're more like blogs or entries out of a diary. I think they'll all be in Ashley's POV, but you never know. I might change my mind. Anyways, they'll all be for the same story line, but I doubt they'll go in any "order." At least not by dates. I will only say the age of Ashley. Just know that Spencer is two years younger. I hope at least some people like this. Let me know what you all think. It's greatly appreciated. And for those waiting for the next update for To Die With Pride, sorry it's taking so long. I still have to get my old files off my dead laptop. Peace. Alex.**

Age: 22

I lied in bed staring at her as she slept. I smiled, because she'd call me creepy or weird if she knew. She was on her stomach and the top of her back was showing. I turned to my side and couldn't help but run my fingers over her soft skin. I heard her murmur, and she moved slightly. I was afraid she'd wake up. I didn't want her to just yet.

Watching her sleep was the best thing. It was like watching my favorite moment over and over again. Her chest slowly rising and falling. Smiles appearing on her face every so often. Feeling her cuddle closer into my body. Knowing that we fit so well together.

I moved closer to her and started to kiss her shoulders and down her back. And as I went back to kissing her neck I traced letters across her back.

"What does it say?" I heard her whisper.

"Shh. Go back to sleep love, it's early," I whispered back.

"After you tell me what it says."

"What what says, babe?" I asked.

"Your note," she turned over onto her back, looking into my eyes.

"I was telling you that I love you."

She kissed me softly and wrapped her arms around my neck. I couldn't help but moan at the sensation I had whenever her skin touched mine. The way my heart jumped when she kissed me. Or how my skin feels like it's on fire as soon as she touches me. Or even how I feel like I'm floating from three simple words.

She tilted her head slightly and placed a hand on my cheek.

"What're you thinking about Ash?"

"Do you remember the first time we held hands?"

"Of course. You were so nervous," she laughed.

"Hey! Of course I was nervous. You _made _me nervous."

_Flashback_

_ It was the first time Spence and I had actually gone out with the intention of being anything more than friends. I only told her I liked her two months ago. We decided to walk from the restaurant back to her house. Well, I decided to. I wasn't ready for the night to end. It was too perfect._

_ She was going on and on about something, and although I knew I should've been paying attention I was too caught up in my thoughts. My thoughts of how beautiful she was. How she slowly moved closer to me as we got closer to her house. How my entire life was slowly starting to revolve around her. And that's when I started to put my hand in hers. _

_ At first, she jumped. But not literally. She just looked at me, as if she was just taken off guard. I , truthfully, had to have been shaking slightly and I know she felt it because she intertwined our fingers and squeezed my hand slightly. As soon as I felt her lean her head against my shoulder, I was calm and I knew I was going to fall for her. _

"What made you think of that moment?" she asked me, snapping me out of the past.

I put my hand on her lower back and pulled her closer to me, and kissed her yet again.

"Not sure. My mind just likes to wander sometimes," I replied.

She laughed and rolled her eyes slightly.

"Don't I know it," she said sarcastically.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

She jumped off the bed, completely naked and ran into the hall shouting, "catch me and maybe I'll tell you."

This is why I love Spencer Carlin.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So I didn't expect to have the second update up so quickly but SOMEONE is very impatient. lol. Anyways, hope it's not crap, cos that'd suck. Opinions are awesome, however critical they may be. I welcome it. Peace. Alex.**

Age: 19

I waited outside her house, leaning up against the car. I sent her a text only moments ago telling her that I had a surprise for her. While trying to work out a long distance relationship, I hardly ever saw her. In fact, it had been almost a year since I'd been able to come up to Ohio. Although we talked every day, for hours most of the time, it could never beat actually _being _with her.

I patiently waited for the front door to open and I looked down at the flowers in my hand. Although she wasn't in love with them, I hoped she'd love the small romantic gesture. Sweet peas. Not extremely common. A bitch to find in the small town Spencer lived in.

I buried my left hand in my pocket and began to tap my feet against the floor, something I did whenever I got nervous.

The door finally opened, and she walked towards me, something I did not expect. I expected her to run up and virtually tackle me. Why did she walk? Seconds felt like hours as she got closer to me, and suddenly the flowers in my hand were gone as she slammed me against my car.

"You are _so _lucky that no one is home," she husked in my ear.

I could've exploded right then and there. She could've had her way with me in plain view. Nothing could've fazed me if she kept talking to me like that. If she was aggressive like that.

I told myself to focus. I wasn't going to waste the time I had with her by staying in bed all week.

"I brought you something," I said, regaining my composure.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and I felt her fingers move up and down, giving me the best kind of goose bumps.

"I saw the flowers, but honestly all I want right now is _you_," she said, sucking on my earlobe.

"Spence…you know what that does to me."

"Exactly why I'm doing it, so how about we go inside now?" she asked, pulling at my belt loops.

"The flowers aren't the only thing I brought for you," I leaned over, picking them up off the ground and finally handing them to her.

She kissed me, softly and sweetly. The way I loved to be kissed by her.

"So what else did you bring then?"

I reached into my left pocket and pulled out a small box.

"This is something I've wanted to give you, for far too long. Spencer, I love you. With all my heart. I know that people say we may be too young to know what love is, but I think we may be an exception because just the sound of your voice is enough to tell me you're the one. I want to give you the world, and so much more. I want to grow old with you, and watch our grandkids grow old. I want to love and cherish you for the rest of time. I'm not asking you to marry me, at least not yet. But will you be mine? In every meaning of the word?" I opened the box to reveal a simple gold ring, with a red stone in the center. Her favorite color. "Will you take this ring, and let it represent my commitment to you?"

At that moment, time froze and I panicked a little as I waited for her answer. _What if she says no? What if I'm rushing things? What if—_

"Yes," she said, snapping me from my worries.

I smile like an idiot and move my hands to her hips.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Yes silly. Now put my ring on, please?" she said, and I could've sworn I saw tears.

As I slipped her ring on, I thought of the future and it's as if she knew what I was thinking because just then she said: "I'll say yes then too, Ash."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: so sorry it's been forever. no excuse. thanks to anyone who reads, reviews, fav's, ect. I greatly appreciate it. sorry it's short. I hope to post the 4th blog later this week. peace. alex. **

Blog 3

Age: 19

"What're you thinking about? You haven't said anything for almost 20 minutes now," Spencer asked me.

"Oh, uh nothing."

I shifted to the other side of the bed and readjusted the cell phone.

"You know what tomorrow is, right?"

"Of course I do Spence. It's our 3 month," I replied.

"Yeah. Three months and you're states away."

I started to frown.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

I met Spence over the summer while visiting an aunt in Ohio. I was a going to start college out in Florida.

We dated almost all summer and we thought long and hard about whether or not to continue our relationship, or simply put it on hold.

In the end, we knew that what we had wasn't just a summer thing. We wanted to see where it would go. The distance never made it didn't easier.

School just started and winter break just seemed so far away.

"Ashley!"

"Huh?"

"Where'd you go?" Spencer asked.

"Sorry. Just thinking."

"About?..."

"It's only September."

"Yeah, I know."

"Spence, I'm not so sure I'll be able to afford to come see you this Christmas…"

I waited anxiously for her answer. I was seriously worried. Most phone calls consisted of us talking about how much we couldn't wait for winter break. The original plan was that I was going to drive up to see her and stay for a week. This was going to kill us both.

"I—I don't know what to say," she finally replied, sounding broken already.

"Say something. Anything. I just need some sort of comfort that we'll be ok."

"Ash, it's only getting harder with time. If I have to go another 3 months without seeing you, I'll go crazy."

"I know baby. I feel the same way, but there's nothing I can do. I don't have time for a job right now."

"Right. Marching chiefs."

"Well yeah, but I have actual school too, you know." I took a deep breath. "You're not getting mad at me, right?"

"No, of course not sweet heart. It's just…I want to be with the one I love."

"Can we just sleep, and worry about all of this another time. It's almost 2, and my head is starting to hurt."

"Of course Ash."

"Hey Spence?"

"Yeah baby?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Now go to sleep Ash."

I heard the phone click and I looked at the ceiling, and then looked at the doorway. There stood my ex, waiting for me.

"Who was that?" she asked.

"Nobody," I replied, unable to look her in the eyes.

I stood up and grabbed my shoes.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

_What am I getting into?_

**A/N: who hates ashley now? lol**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I am the worst at updating often, I know. I am sorry. I want to thank anyone and everyone who reviews, fav's or even puts me on story alert. You all are the ones that drive people on here to keep posting. Keep it up. Peace. Alex.**

Blog 4

Age: 29

"Spence? Have you seen my shoes?"

She walked into the bed room, and adjusted her dress then tilted her head at me.

"That's not what you were planning on wearing, was it?" she asked.

I looked down at myself.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I asked.

"Baby, nice jeans don't count as dressing up."

"I'm gonna put on a blazer."

"Ash. Go change before I pick something out for you."

I gave her my classic, and highly irresistible, Ashley pout.

She turned away and left the bedroom.

"It doesn't work on me Ash. Now change."

"I don't wanna," I muttered to myself.

I walked into the living room to find her sitting on the couch with her legs crossed. I was practically drooling at the sight of her in that skin tight black dress and those heels. She took one look at me and frowned.

"Ash. I asked you to change."

"But these are your favorite jeans. And I, for one, think I look good."

I was wearing slightly baggy men's jeans, with a plain grey t-shirt, and a black blazer.

"But do you _have _to wear vans?"

I pulled her off the couch and brought her close to me. I kissed her softly and melted when I felt her smile into the kiss.

"You know you love how I look."

She rolled her eyes at me.

"You are hopeless," she muttered.

"Hopelessly in love with you," I replied.

I placed my hands on her hips and kissed her neck.

"Let's go before I rip this dress off of you now."

Spencer and I had a thing for the way we sat whenever we went out to eat. We never sat across from each other. It wasn't close enough for us. We sat down in the booth and she immediately moved closer to me and held my hand in her lap as we read over the menus.

"Hey Spence?"

"Yes sweet heart?"

I smiled and my heart practically jumped out of my chest. I moved closer to her and ran my nose across the length of hers.

"These have been some of the happiest years of my life. Thank you for spending the past three years married to me. I love you so much."

She kissed me, but pulled away quickly. I know her. She only did that when her self-control was low.

"You make me so damn happy. I can't thank you enough for that," she said, her lips barely brushing mine.

"Thank you Spencer."

"For what Ash?"

"For giving me another chance."

She placed her hand on the side of my face and I couldn't help but shut my eyes and enjoy the sensation.

"It was so very long ago."

"Still, you didn't deserve what I did."

"It's in the past, and we worked through it."

Flashback

"_You cheated on me? With your fucking ex? How could you do that to me Ashley? I mean I try to give you everything I can and you turn around and fucking stab me in the back? How dare you!" she shouted._

"_I am so sorry Spence. I just…it just sort of happened. We were just hanging out, and I couldn't control myself," I replied, completely ashamed._

"_That's the _worst _excuse you could give me. I mean honestly. You couldn't 'control' yourself? What are you, thirteen?"_

"_I really am sorry Spence—"_

"_You're not allowed to call me that. In fact, I want nothing to do with you. How can I continue a relationship with you, if you just go and fuck other girls?"_

"_We only kissed!"_

"_So that makes it ok?"_

"_No, but—"_

"_We're done."_

_Then I heard nothing. _

End of Flashback

"I will never understand what I did to get such an amazing wife," I said, pulling her closer to me as we walked to the car.

She stopped walking and looked over at me.

"I could say the same thing, you know?"

"Oh? I don't think so. I lucked out with this deal."

She yanked me into her body by me collar, and I could feel her hot breath on my lips.

"Can we go home? I think it's time you rip this dress off of me," she husked.

"Baby, I can't open the door," I laughed, trying to pull away from her lips.

"Mmm. Fine," she moved slightly and as soon as the door swung open, I felt her move my hands to her ass.

She moaned immediately, as I squeezed it.

"Spence, people can see us."

She started sucking on my neck and I was suddenly losing it.

"Inside. Now."

I quickly picked her up off her feet and her legs quickly wrapped around my hips.

_Best anniversary ever._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I know, I know. I seriously suck at updating at a timely manner. I greatly apologize. I also apparently suck at writing longer chapters these days. lol. Anyways, let me know what you think. Peace. Alex.**

**Age: 20**

It's been a few _long _months since I've last seen Spencer. Luckily for both of us, she'll graduate this year and hopefully move in with me. However, her 18th birthday is this Sunday. I couldn't dare miss it. I had a surprise for her that couldn't wait any longer. To say that I ever showed up to her house expected would be a lie. It was much more fun surprising her.

"What're you doing outside?" I asked, walking closer to her.

"Ash? What're you doing here?" she asked, immediately jumping up.

"I came to wish you a happy birthday." I pulled her into a hug and kissed her neck. "Happy birthday Spence."

"I can't believe you're here," she replied, tightening her arms around my neck.

I pulled away slightly.

"Of course I'm here. I couldn't miss such an important day. Besides," I winked, "I've got a present for you…"

"Oh yeah?" she inquired. "Well where is it?"

"Shh. It's a surprise."

"You and surprises."

I laughed.

"I know you love it when I surprise you."

"Eh, maybe a little. So, where are you taking me?"

"Where am I taking you? What makes you think I'd take you anywhere?"

All she had to do was look at skeptically.

"Okay, okay. Follow me, you'll see."

She sat in the passenger seat and I leaned over and kissed her.

"Okay, now you should probably call your mom and tell her you're staying at a friend's house until Saturday night. I'll bring you back then."

"Somehow I doubt my mom will be okay with that…"

"Oh Paula will live. Just try. Please?"

She stepped out of the car, and I waited anxiously. _Please, say yes Paula. I promise not to have sex with Spencer in your house…_

"She actually said yes!"

…_tonight._

"That's great. So what do you say, ready to see your gift?" I asked.

"Will I have to wait much longer?"

"Only about an hour. That's how far away the hotel is."

"Hotel?" she smiled.

"Where else would we would stay over night?"

We walked through the suite door and both of us stood there in awe.

"Oh my god, Ash. This is amazing. How…how did you afford this?"

"I saved for like a year," I laughed.

"Oh baby, you didn't have to do that. This is too much," she said, cupping my cheeks in the palm of her hands, making me melt almost immediately. _Biggest weakness._

"This is nothing yet. It's not even your real surprise."

She pulled on my shirt, causing me to move closer to her body.

"I say we take a tour of the bedroom," Spencer said against my lips.

"Now that I won't argue with," I replied, crashing our lips together.

She pulled at the bottom of my shirt and I lifted my arms. My shirt collided with the floor just as she started to kiss my neck.

"Spence," I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Bed. Now."

She moved away from me slightly and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the bed. She pushed me onto it, and quickly straddled me. She slowly unbuttoned her shirt and my breathing got so much heavier. She knew what she was doing. She knew how to turn me on. Before I knew it, she was in her bra and underwear, and already working on my pants. She was looking into my eyes, unzipping my pants and I felt her fingers skim across my right pelvis.

"Ow. Easy Spence."

She looked down at where her hand was.

"What's this?" she asked, moving my jeans lower.

I moved so that I was slightly sitting up, and I watched as what she saw began to register in her mind.

Right there, on my right side, was her name tattooed in script.

"Happy birthday Spence," I said, wiping the tears away from her face.

"I don't even know what to say," she replied, all choked up.

I kissed her cheek.

"I love you Spencer Carlin. And this is just one of the many ways I intend on showing you."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I want to first of all thank Rachel Hardy, ashspence1987, and spashley lover for the ideas. They were all greatly appreciated. I picked an idea at random, and this time Rachel Hardy won. Woo! Lol. So this is one of her 3 ideas she sent me. My next few posts will feature other ideas sent in to me. If anyone else has any good ideas, let me know. I write partly for the readers here, so what better than to write what you all want to read? Anyways, on with the post! Hope it's decent. Review and give me insight. Oh and by the way, italics are mini flashbacks. You'll see what I'm talking about. **

**Peace. Alex.**

**Age: 28**

"Spence, why are you so nervous?"

"I'm not nervous."

I looked at her skeptically and placed my hand on her knee, causing her leg to freeze.

"You can hardly sit still. Babe, it's nothing."

"What if we can't have kids, Ash? What if—"

"Stop. No matter what the doctor says, we are in this _together. _If can't biologically have a child that is ours, then we'll adopt," I replied, assumingly.

"Yeah. , but you know how difficult it is for people like us to adopt."

At this point, both my hands were on the sides of her face and other people in the waiting room were staring at us.

"Spence, everything will be fine. We simply just don't give up. Where there's a will, there's a way, right?"

She looked down at her lap, in defeat.

"How can you even stay this optimistic? Especially right now."

I smiled at her and kissed her.

"It's simple. I love you, and I want nothing more than to have kids with you. I won't rest until I get what I know we deserve."

She laughed at me and shook her head.

"You hardly answered my question."

"I made you laugh though, didn't I?"

She grabbed a hold of my hand and lightly squeezed it.

"That you did."

"Ok, then mission accomplished," I replied.

"Dr. Davies and Mrs. Davies?" a nurse called.

We stood up and headed towards her.

"Right this way," she said, leading us into a small sized office.

I sat in the car simply staring at the steering wheel and gripping it until my knuckles turned white.

"Ash, please say something."

I turned to her, "please explain what the hell just happened in there.'

"He was an asshole. We can just go to a different doctor."

"He insulted my wife! How can I just let that go?" I practically yelled.

"_Such a gorgeous woman, and you're with this? I mean you could be with any man you wanted and you're wasting your time with her?" He said to me._

"_How dare you! I suggest you shut the hell up now, before you regret it," I replied, only be held back by Spencer's begging eyes._

She flinched and I suddenly felt bad.

"I'm sorry Spence. I'm just mad."

"I know sweetie, but honest, it's no big deal."

"I don't even care what he said to me, it's what he said about you that bothers me. It's so unprofessional. I should get him fired."

"_I'm sorry but I don't think you're fit to be a mother," Dr. Kelly said._

"_Can I—I can't have kids?" Spence asked._

"_Oh that I don't know."_

"_Then what the hell do you mean?" I asked._

"_You're—what you two are doing. It's just wrong. I don't think either of you are fit to be parents."_

"_That's not your place to say!" I replied, standing up._

She placed a hand on my thigh, "it's not worth it. He's not worth your time."

**6 months later…**

I awoke with the sun hitting my back and a warm body moving closer into my chest. I rubbed my hand over the slight bump that was now starting to appear on her stomach. I softly kissed her shoulder she moved slightly.

"Mmm. Stop Ashh…"

"Stop what?" I asked, moving my hand slightly lower.

"Mm. Aren't you tired?" she asked, turning to face me.

"Mm mm. No," I replied, kissing her.

"Baby, we just fell asleep. We need rest."

She pushed me over and laid her head on my chest.

"You better not corrupt our kid before she's even born."

"Oh you know I will, but what makes you think it's a girl?"

"I not only think she's a girl, but I think she'll be a mini-Ashley."

I laughed, "Well I can only hope."

I flipped Spencer over and leaned down and kissed her lower stomach.

"What's her name going to be?" I asked.

"What do _you _want?"

I tilted my head for a moment and thought to myself.

"Let's name her Erin," I finally replied.

**A/N: So I just wanted to include the part of the asshole doc because I was told that that's actually quite common. Lol. Surprise! Prejudice **_**does **_**exist! I hope you all liked it. Stick around. There may be a post later tomorrow, if not tonight. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So this chapter's a little different. For one, I did NOT write it. A good friend of mine did. Give her a lot of reviews (please!) because I'd like her to write more chapters for this story. Lol. I think she's better at capturing Spencer's POV than I am. Anyways, on with the story. Oh, and shout out to Rachel Hardy again. She offered the idea to this chapter.**

**Peace. Alex.**

**Spencer's POV**

**Age: 18 **

**Flashback**

"_Ash, where are you taking me?" _

_She had said: 'Dress how you want. It doesn't really matter you look beautiful in anything.' While I appreciate that, she knows I like to know how I should get ready but oh well. Tight jeans, a black t shirt and a white t shirt under is what she's getting _

"_You know perfectly well Spence I'm not going to tell you." _

"_Well am I at least dressed right?" _

"_Baby…" She said in a warning tone as she smiled at me. I knew her well enough to know that didn't want me to keep pushing and also that she was completely enjoying my torture I was putting myself through trying to figure it out._

"_Ok, ok, fine but am I at least dressed appropriately?"_

"_Spence, you look great. In fact, you look damn fine if I do say so myself."_

_I blushed and squeezed her hand. We sat just like that for another hour or so during our drive. I loved visits like this, visits where we were just ourselves. I looked over and smiled at her._

"_You know, I should know where we are since I'm the one who lives here and all."_

_She laughed and looked at me._

"_Yeah you'd think so wouldn't you?" _

_We parked at this beautiful lake with the moon perfectly reflecting onto the water, and she looked so beautiful. We sat peacefully together just talking and laughing._

"_Are you cold baby? You're shaking, here take my jacket," she said holding out her jacket._

"_But then you'll be cold," I replied._

_She had already been in the process of putting her jacket on me by this point. I put my hands in the pockets and felt a small box._

"_Ash?"_

"_Yes love?"_

"_What's this?" I asked, pulling the box out._

"_Open it and find out."_

_I opened it to reveal a small silver key _

"_Baby?" _

_Tears were starting to form in my eyes; she put a hand on my cheek caressing my face._

"_Move in with me," she whispered._

"Spence, Can you help me with this box? Spence? Spencer!"

I looked up from my computer to see Ashley staring at me with what seemed to be a very heavy box in her hands, her shirt was riding up a little exposing her stomach slightly and her face was red from doing all the work.

"Spencer Erin Carlin, what do you think your doing?"

I remove the headphones from my ears and give her my cutest smile.

"Ummm… testing out the couch?"

"Get your cute lazy but off that couch and help me"

"Just let me…"

"Spence!"

"… Get up and help you."

I followed Ashley in the kitchen, her with the heavy box and me with my not so heavy computer. I let some music play as I sat on the counter and watched Ash move in and out of the kitchen with more boxes, every once and a while she would stop and just think, probably trying to figure out where to put something. I loved to just watch her, analyze her every move, try to figure out what she was thinking. I've gotten pretty good at it and lets just say she was not getting happier as she went on. _Oh crap. _

"OUCH! My foot!"

She let the box drop with a loud thud as her face started to get redder.

"Seriously Spencer! You're not even helping! This is all your crap and your just sitting on the counter watching me do all the work!"

Well she wasn't wrong…

"Ash…"

"And what is this crap you have playing! How did you even get that stupid computer out? Didn't we have that packed up in one of the boxes!"

I hopped off the counter and grabbed her hands slowly walking her back, she just looked at me and with every step I could tell she was calming down. We had hit the sink and I pushed my body against hers.

"First of all Taylor Swift is not crap, and its not my fault the computers on shuffle. I cant change the definition of random to anything _but_ country."

I moved my face a little closer and moved my hands to her back

"Second yes, it was in one of the boxes, one of the ones that I had grabbed out of the car. And Third,"

Our noses were now touching at this point.

"I'm sorry, forgive me? Pwease?"

I pout slightly and she just smiles and kisses me.

"Ok, you're forgiven. But you so owe me."

I bite her lip and take her hand in mine dragging her towards the bedroom.

"Well then Miss Davies, let me make it up to you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Blog 8**

**Age: 17**

"Tell me again, why do you want to spend your summer with an aunt you've only met twice? Both times you were not even ten years old," my mother said, sitting next to me.

I was waiting for the three o'clock p.m. plane to Ohio. It was only two thirty. Why she insisted on being here since noon I will never understand. She was just way too excited to get rid of me, it seemed.

"Because, mom, she's your sister and I've met her twice. Don't you think she's important enough to know?" I replied.

"She and I hardly get along. What makes you think she'll get along with you?"

_Maybe because _no_ one gets along with you or maybe she just hates the fact that you are the biggest roaring bitch ever known to man kind._

"You and I are different. There's a chance I might like her. And if I don't I'll just avoid her," and I muttered under my breath, "just like I avoid you."

"What was that?" she asked, turning to me.

"What was what?"

She simply glared at me and said nothing more, burying her face back into her blackberry.

My "relationship," if you can even call it that, with my mother in a nutshell. I knew more than anything that she was relieved, for the most part, to be rid of me for an entire three months. I wasn't going away for college for another year, and I know she couldn't be more thrilled to get the enormous house all to herself.

By the time I reached the Ohio airport, I was too excited to hold it in. I had spent a year emailing and reconnecting with my aunt, in hopes of getting to know her. I soon found out that she really was a sweet woman, much unlike my mother. Now widowed, she was unable to have any kids of her own. Her husband died only three years before and she was all alone. I will never understand how such a wonderful woman could share the same genetics as my own mother.

"Ashley! Well look at you," Aunt Carla said, holding me in a deathlike vice. "You're all grown up!"

I pulled away slightly and looked at her. She had aged well. No one could tell that she was in her mid fifties.

"How are you Aunt Carla?" I asked, smiling at her.

"How am I? I couldn't be better. I'm going to have a great kid fill my house with joy for entire three months. How would you feel?"

I felt like crying. _So this is what motherly love felt like…_

I stepped out of the car and looked up at her house. It was small, but I liked it. It looked more like a home than mine. I looked at the house to the right, where a moving truck was parked out front. My aunt must have caught me staring because she came up beside me.

"I hear they have a gorgeous teenage daughter," she whispered.

I blushed slightly.

"What makes you think she'd even be interested?" I said turning to her.

She simply shrugged and headed inside.

I turned back to look at the house and I caught a glimpse of her. She had the most gorgeous blonde hair I had ever seen. It just gleamed in the sunlight. She turned towards me and smiled. I quickly snapped out of my trance and walked towards her.

"Hey. I'm Ashley," I said holding out my hand.

"I'm Spencer," she replied, her smile growing. "We just moved here."

"I see that," I said, pointing over to the truck. _Those eyes. I've never seen a better shade of blue._

She nervously laughed.

"I didn't know Ms. Carla had any kids…"

"Oh no. She's my aunt. I'm just here for the summer."

"Well, we don't have much unpacked yet, but we did manage to hook up the TV if you maybe want to watch a movie or something," she muttered, starting to blush.

I couldn't help but laugh as she nervously looked down at her shoes.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" I asked, smirking.

Her head immediately popped up and she stared at me, unsure of how to react.

"No that's not—I mean—"

"I'd love to," I said, cutting her off.

We sat out on her front steps, and I looked up at the sky to admire the moon. She nudged me and I turned to look at her.

"What're you thinking about?" she asked.

"I think this'll be quite an interesting summer," I replied.

I stood up.

"I should head home. I have some unpacking to do."

She stood up and buried her hands in her pockets.

"Oh ok."

"I had a lot of fun today Spence. I mean I know we just watched movies, but I really enjoyed your company. You're a nice kid."

"Hey! I'm no kid."

I laughed.

"You are to me. You cute little 15 year old," I said rubbing the top of her head.

She punched my shoulder lightly in response.

"Wanna come over tomorrow? I'll make you lunch," I offered.

"Ok, sounds good."

I started to walk towards my front door, only to turn back around when I heard my name.

"I had fun too, Ash."

I smiled and was met by my aunt in the living room. I crashed down on the couch. She turned off the TV and turned to me.

"So little one? How was it?" she asked.

"I think I'm going to love being here," I replied, a smile permanently fixed on my face.

I leaned back into the couch and imagined the summer days to come. All the possibilities. Daily trips to the beach. Movie nights spent on my bed. Sleepovers with no sleep. _Where was the Ashley I once knew? _


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I am terrible. No excuses. I really am sorry. Hopefully, I can get my lazy ass up once in a while and update more often. lol. Enjoy. Read and review. Peace, Alex.

**Blog 9**

**Age 18**

"_Ash, are you sure you want to spend your senior year here? In Ohio? I mean it's nothing like LA. It's…_boring_," Spencer said into the side of my neck._

_I laughed, "From what I could understand, I'm going to say yes. I'm sure."_

_She sat up a bit and looked into my eyes._

"_What if we break up?" she asked in all seriousness._

"_Not possible."_

"_But what if-"_

"_No. It's not going to happen, so there's no point in talking about it."_

_She lied back down and wrapped her arms tighter around me. _

"_We can't be out," she whispered, sadly._

"_I know baby," I replied._

_She looked at me once again._

"_How do you feel about that?"_

_I sat up and forced her to sit up with me. I placed my hands on either sides of her face and leaned my forehead against hers._

"_You're worth it, and so much more. I don't care that I can't tell the world that you're mine yet. All that matters is that you and I know. Anything else is just an unnecessary bonus."_

"_You're so cute," She smiled at me._

_I looked down, knowing that I had a huge grin on my face._

"_I hate you right now," I mumbled._

_She laughed, "No you don't."_

"_So…we start tomorrow, well technically in 8 hours. Don't you think we should sleep?" I asked._

_She pushed me back down on the bed. _

"_I'm not quite ready to sleep yet."_

_Her eyes were already shades darker and there was hunger in them._

"_But we need sleep…" my words vanished as she kissed up and down my neck. _

"_No. I think we need this," she said as her fingers ran down my stomach._

_I moaned and I could tell she was enjoying this too much. _

_I quickly gained my composure and flipped us over, quickly placing her hands above her head._

"_Don't you dare move them," I growled._

_I started lightly biting her jaw and my hands were already on the hem of her shirt. She sat up slightly so I could take it off. _

_Once she lied back down, one of my hands moved to her hip while the other rested against the bed holding my weight as I kissed her hard. Her hips started to move up, as she tried desperately to create some friction. I moved my hand from the bed to her back and struggled with her back. Once more she sat up, only this time she took off her bra for me. I couldn't help but pause for a moment to properly appreciate her glorious body. _

_Getting impatient, she pulled me back down and immediately placed her hands against the headboard as I licked down her chest. _

_Her hands moved to my neck and I moved away slight and held her hands above her head, this time no letting go._

"_I told you to leave them there," I whispered in her ear. _

_She let out a moan and pushed her hips even further into me. _

"_God, just fuck me already Ash."_

_My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I felt myself get more turned on by her demands. I kissed her once more while my right hand moved to undue her jeans…_

"Ms. Davies!...MS. DAVIES!"

"Huh?" I asked.

"I'd really appreciate it if you actually paid attention in my class."

"Oh, right. Sorry about that…" I said looking around, wondering if it was at all obvious that I was thinking what I was.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and look to see I have a text from Spence.

"Were you about last night? AGAIN?" It read.

I turned to face her, to see her rolling her eyes at me.

"At least it was a good thought…" I replied. _That'll certainly earn me a punch in the arm later._


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I honestly had given up on this story long ago, but recently I've had some inspiration. There will be more to come on all of my stories. Read happy everyone. Thanks for those who are still reading. **

**Blog 10 **

**Age: 26**

It was a cold December night, and Spence and I were cuddled up in front of the fire place. With my arms wrapped up around her, and her weight completely against me it was my favorite place. Our bodies intertwined and I wasn't entirely confident in where hers started and mine ended. We just became one when we were close. With my face buried in her hair, I'd close my eyes just to take a deep breath and the smell of lavender overwhelmed my mind. Making me remember all the times I've spent sleeping in the crook of her neck just to have that very scent in my mind. I swear I'll never smell anything else as sweet as long as I live. I'd never forget it.

"I have a gift for you," I said, getting up slightly.

"Oh yeah?" she asked, gaining curiosity with every moment that passed. "But it's not even Christmas yet."

"I know. You get one gift early," I smiled. "It's under the tree if you want to grab it and unwrap."

She started to frown, "But I don't have an early gift for you."

"Trust me Spence, it's a gift for both of us. Just grab it. It's the one in green wrapping paper," I said, pointing to a small box under the tree.

She crawled over like a small kid to grab it. As she crawled back into my arms, I couldn't help but smile at the thought of what was about to come.

"Well? Don't just stare at it. I know I can't wrap presents, but at least open it."

She let out a little chuckle and began to tear it apart. No, really. She literally tore it apart.

I watched her open the box, and right there in her hands was a beautiful white gold ring, with a blue diamond ring. She had once mentioned how beautiful she thought they were, and I never forgot.

"Will you marry me?" I asked, as she looked up at me.

Trying to hold back tears, she placed her forehead against mine, and whispered "Yes. I was born to marry you Ashley Davies."

"So what date would you like to set?" Spencer asked.

"Uhm...I honestly thought you'd do that part," I replied.

It had been two weeks since I asked Spencer to marry me, and she already couldn't handle planning it.

"I know you said you wanted me to do the planning and everything, but you don't even want to help me set a date?"

"I mean look Spence, you know I'm not a conventional person. The big wedding thing is for you. We could go to Vegas right now and I'd be cool with that."

She was starting to get frustrated. "So you're telling me that you don't even care about this wedding?!"

I grabbed her hands and placed them gently in mine in an attempt to calm her down. "No Spence. That's not what I'm saying. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But me, personally, I don't need to make that commitment in a church or before God or before our family and friends. The only person I want to make that commitment to is you. So yeah, the wedding date doesn't matter to me because the way I see it, we've been married for years now. We just never made it legal." I winked at her, hoping to evoke a smile.

She let out a huge sigh. "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm doing that stereotypical bride thing and I'm going nuts."

I laughed, "Yeah you are."

She proceeded to punch me in the arm, which I definitely deserved.

"Ass," she said.

"Hey, at least I made you laugh."

"That you did Ashley Davies. That you did," she said smiling up at me as I pulled her into my chest.

"I promise you Spence, our wedding will be perfect and amazing. I want you to have and do whatever you want for it. The only thing I ask from you is that you don't let it ruin us in the mean time. Don't let it stress you out and take over your life."

She leaned up and kissed me, slowly. She knew every time. She knew to linger there for a moment and it would make me melt. Make me lose my train of thought and make me forget what we were even talking about. It would make time stop, and then just like it began it'd end. And the moment would be lost once more. Just the shadow of her touch remained.


End file.
